Alien Romulus Trailer!

Ooh! the Alien Romulus trailer has finally dropped! So I thought I’d share my thoughts.

I didn’t want any potential spoilers, so click below to see what I have to say about it

Reveal Profound Insights

WHO CARES?

To clarify: I haven’t watched the trailer, because who cares? And it’s not just Alien, and it’s not just because Ridley Scott is a hack with no interest in storytelling or writing. I’m just so fucking tired of sequels that I don’t even care about a new Alien movie. We’re now at a point where if you said “well there’s a one-in-ten-thousand chance that it might not be soulless drivel” I’d call you a naive optimist. Have you ever heard of Fede Alvarez? Me neither. In other words: the studio brought in someone they could bully.

Alien is now in the same bucket as Star Wars: I’ll watch another Alien movie after it has won ten academy awards. Or is directed by Tarantino or Scorsese. James Cameron isn’t even a sure bet anymore.

Make something new ffs. Or, failing that, adapt something awesome that hasn’t been adapted before, e.g Asimov, faithfully.

 

Dear Quentin

Please, please, please, I beg of you: don’t stop.

Or, more specifically, please don’t say “I’m done”.

That puts a finality to it that you might feel like you need to live up to.

I can’t make you keep churning out films, and even if I could I wouldn’t want to, because if you were making a movie you didn’t want to be making, it would be less perfect than it could be. And I’m not interested in seeing half-assed Tarantino movies – I’d rather see you stop forever than do a string of for-hire jobs you don’t care about.

No, I want more Tarantino films.

I’m not even saying that you can’t/shouldn’t stop (though for the love of jeebus please don’t). What I’m asking is that you don’t put the finality to it of saying “That’s my filmography finished”, like you’ve been saying you would.

Instead, if you really want to stop at ten, then maybe phrase it like “I’m going on hiatus, maybe forever”.

That way, you won’t feel like you’re going back on your word if you ever do decide to make a number eleven.

I wish, so much, that you would not stop at ten. I want eleven, and fifteen, and twenty-five. But your reasoning is sound and I can’t really argue with you – if you really don’t want to make #11, then I can’t do anything about that.

But, Quentin, I think cinema needs you.

And I have a question: is stopping really what you want?

I think that you must understand Scorsese’s sentiment about how the current glut of superhero trash is “not cinema”. He’s right. And there are only a handful of people still out there doing things differently, still making “real” cinema. Scorsese is one, you’re another.

It’s a tough call, but I think you’re probably better than Scorsese – I think you’re maybe the greatest director in the history of cinema. But I’m not a cinephile to your level, I’m sure you can name a dozen people who you think are better, and give long-winded and well-thought-out reasoning why they’re all better. And I certainly don’t have the chops to try to argue the point against you. All I can say is that I think all of your films are just about perfect, and I think you keep getting better.

Cinema needs you, Quentin. You represent maybe even 25-30% of the “true cinema” that exists in hollywood today. Yes, this is an extremely sad situation.

I’m so tired.

I’m so tired of superheroes, and sequels, and prequels, and remakes, and CGI action spectacles, and seeing things that defy physics to such a degree that it seems like a cartoon, no matter how photorealistically it’s rendered.

What I want to watch is something like…..every movie you’ve ever made. Something with some soul, and character, and depth, that doesn’t suck. Something where I can’t predict everything that’s going to happen before the opening credits have finished rolling.

Did I mention that I don’t really like westerns? I couldn’t care less, really, I think I’m too young, I’m a sci-fi guy. (please oh god please make the star trek thing!). But oh how I adored the Hateful Eight.

Your films transcend genre.

I don’t look at a synopsis or a trailer before I go and see your movies, I just hear “the new Tarantino”, and I go to the cinema. It’s been this way for years and years. I think I probably saw a trailer for inglorious basterds. I’m not sure about django. I definitely didn’t see a trailer for Hateful Eight, and I actively avoided foreknowledge about Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

…If I may just stop for a moment to wax poetic on the masterpiece that is Once Upon A Time. I mean, they’re all masterpieces, but Once Upon A Time is so much more subtle, mature, and hilariously cathartic than any of the others, in such a lovely way. That ending scene with the title card caps off your fairy tale so magnificently. Somehow, despite me knowing that it was a Tarantino and having seen all your films and my having spotted your “punishing evil” theme a long time ago, the ending still took me completely by surprise. It was wonderful. And hilarious.

Your theme of using the punishment of evil as catharsis, which has been one of your core things since Basterds, seems to have gone unnoticed somehow in the discourse that I’ve seen. Or maybe I’m just not travelling in the right circles.

I love it so much. I keep asking myself what group of unambiguous evildoers you’ll put in your crosshairs next. If I may be bold enough to make a suggestion to perhaps the greatest filmmaker of all time, here it is: Sexual Predators. Make a movie about a guy named Harvey Epstein. Might be a bit of a difficult one to make, though.

Please don’t stop, Quentin. There will always be another group of evildoers out there. And I feel like as soon as you say “I’m done”, you’ll immediately think of #11, and regret saying it. And then you’ll either make #11 and undermine your credibility a little, or we’ll all miss out on a potentially amazing #11.

So here’s what I ask of you: Please don’t say “I’m done”, instead say “I’m taking a break” and don’t feel under any pressure to make any more. But if you come up with something you want to do, you shouldn’t let some artificial barrier stop you, and you shouldn’t have to intellectually manoeuvre to do it with conceits like “well this film isn’t part of the main filmography due to “. Please, leave yourself in a position where if you decide that you want to make a film, you can just go make that film.

I’ve seen more than one artist declare that they’re “done”. Perhaps the best example I can think of is one Trent Reznor, who I’ve heard saying things very close to “I’m done” on more than one occasion. But he’s not done, and I don’t think he ever will be while he’s alive and able-bodied – it’s my belief that the true artist can’t help himself but to create, and that when these people say things like “I’m done”, it never goes how they seem to think it will, and in my mind they just undermine their credibility, demonstrates a lack of self-awareness, and lower their esteem a little in my eyes when they say things like this. I wish you’d be smarter than that.

I can’t tell you what to do. I wouldn’t want to force you to do anything you don’t actively want to do. These are all just suggestions and my opinions based on not very much of anything at all. My one core insight here is this: If you say you’re done, you might then find yourself in a situation where you want to do #11 but haven said you wouldn’t, so feel like you shouldn’t.

And that would be, in my estimation, perhaps the greatest tragedy in the history of cinema, because in my opinion, you might be the greatest filmmaker of all time.

And I leave you with one final remark:

Thank you.

Why you’re wrong if you think spaces are better than tabs

OK, time to finally throw my hat into the political ring.

But I want to state for the record as a disclaimer that I do so not based on opinion, but merely based on the facts:

Tabs are better than spaces.

Now, quiet, you python people. You’re just wrong. I know that your style guide PEP says you should use 4 spaces.

But it’s wrong.

Now, you’ve all heard the old unix greybeard argument about how your files will be 2% smaller if you switch to tabs instead of spaces, because you’ll use 1 tab character rather than 4 space characters. While this argument is correct, it has nothing to do with my argument (it’s just another benefit of using tabs, as far as I’m concerned). But a small saving in file size isn’t a reason to change how you do things.

The reason you should change how you do things and start using tabs instead of spaces is simple: it’s the correct answer. But that’s not actually my primary reason. My primary reason is that it’s better.

Now, this might sound arrogant or whatever, but allow me to explain what’s actually going on under the hood, and how you can configure your editor correctly and we can all live in peace and harmony and never worry about this whole indentation thing ever again.

A lengthy treatise about the history of text (and how it’s indented)

A long long time ago – even before Nirvana – there were mechanical typewriters. That’s where the tab key comes from, since our computer systems were originally used with teletypes, which were based on typewriters.

But typewriters didn’t just have a tab key – they also had tab stops – a bar along the back of the typewriter with several movable latches which allowed you to set the tabs at any position you like. The behaviour of the tab key and tab stops in a WYSIWYG word processor emulates this pretty faithfully (though it is a superset of typewriter functionality, e.g typewriters had a limited number of tab stops and afaik could only do left-aligned tab stops).

When we started using teletypes and terminals, we were originally using fixed-width (i.e the screen was typically 80 or sometimes 40 characters wide, and used a monospaced font) text-only monochrome displays. And back in the 60s IIRC the ASCII standard was developed as a descendant of the baudot code used on telegraphs.

This standard defines a bunch of characters, and a bunch of control characters. If you’re familiar with ASCII or unicode at all you’ll recognise some of them. Some common examples:
character 32* – space
character 10 – linefeed
character 13 – carriage return
and character 65 – an uppercase “A”.

(* i tend to think in decimal, these are decimal values. All ascii values here should be decimal for consistency)

If you’ve ever played with colours in your terminal prompt, you might also recognise escape as character 27.

There are a bunch of these available, and you can see the full list with a simple ‘man ascii’ (assuming you have the relevant packages installed, apt-get install man-pages should do it on debian).

In this table, we see my beloved tab sitting at position 9. And you’ll also see one that you probably haven’t used before – character 11 – “vertical tab”.

All of these things are there for a reason, even though we almost never use some of them (like vertical tab) today.

There are a few intricacies of the ascii table which aren’t mentioned or immediately obvious from reading the man page I pointed you to. They’re a little more obvious if you look at a 4-column ascii table with the hex and binary values (<-- I'd encourage you to open that in a new window so you can look at it while reading this lengthy tome).

With this layout, it becomes more obvious that the first 32 ascii characters are in a special class that you probably already know about - these are the control characters. There is one other control character which is outside of this range and a special case - 127 / DEL.

Less Obvious is that this pattern of categorising the ascii table into sets of 32 applies for all four columns. The ASCII table was intended to be broken up this way: WE have four broad categories of characters here: control characters, symbols and numbers, uppercase, and lowercase.

Note another correspondence when we break the ascii table up in this way: the lower word (i.e the last 4 binary digits) are the same for each character for both uppercase and lowercase - we can think of the upper word / first four bits* as a "mode selector" to select between columns on this table, and the lower word selects one of the rows, giving a particular character.

(* in reality it's only three bits in the upper / most significant word, because we're only talking about 7-bit "pure" ascii today, but I'll be referring to them as two 4-bit words here to make things clearer - the most significant bit is always 0 for our purposes today)

This idea is modelled on an earlier code (baudot? something else? the history is long) and is in turn modelled on typewriters and how the shift key worked: On a mechanical typewriter, the shift key worked by physically shifting the printing mechanism or head (versions differed), and each "letter-stamper-thingy" on the typewriter had two characters - uppercase and lowercase (the names of which in turn come from a printing press operator's two cases of letters - uppercase tended to be used less often, so the operator would place it in the upper position, further away from his working area) - and depending on the position of the shift mechanism, selected between the two characters, giving each normal key two functions. Similarly, the number keys had symbols as their "uppercase character".

This design characteristic makes it pretty easy electronically to implement this "shift" mechanism for most of the keys on your keyboard without any special logic to handle upper/lowercase - each key has an encoded 4-bit value, and depending on the state of the shift key we set or unset bit 3 of the upper word (it's a little more complex than this these days, e.g capslock).

And that's why teletypes were fairly common already by the time computers were invented - they're a lot simpler - the character table is designed to make it easy electronically.

But it doesn't stop at the keyboard, it's also easier to interpret on the decoding end: if your bit 3 is set, you want to select a lowercase glyph. This is a very easy test that can be done with few logic gates, and in very few instructions on most(all?) computer processors.

So this meant that when computers came around, and we wanted a system to have them represent text and interact with keyboards, adopting this table made a lot of sense due to the slow speed of those early machines - efficiency was everything. And so ASCII was born - people took clever ideas of their predecessors and expanded on them.

You'll also notice that in this layout, the symbol characters between the uppercase and lowercase and at values >=123 make more sense – if you’ve ever looked at an ascii chart and wondered why e.g the symbols or letters weren’t all in one contiguous region, this is why!

(Today, we’re not technically using ASCII anymore – these days, all modern operating systems use unicode. But unicode takes this compatibility thing that ascii did even further – you may know that unicode is byte-compatible with 7-bit ascii, so a pure ascii file (and most english text from other similar encodings, e.g iso-8859-1, too) is also a valid, identical unicode file)

So far we’ve only covered columns 2-4, but a simple glance at our ascii table shows that column 1 is special. And you already know why: none of these are printable characters – except, debatably, tab.

You probably know about nonprintable characters – unicode means that most computers have lots and lots of them today. But you might not know the distinction between a printable / nonprintable character and a control character. And that’s what this column actually is – these are the control characters, not the nonprintable characters.

There is one other control character – DEL – which doesn’t live in this column. I’m not sure where it’s position at the end of the table originated and how that decision came about. But this is also relatively easy to test electronically – a 7-way AND gate on your 7 bits, and in code. Putting it at the end of the table like that makes it a relatively simple exception that you need to accommodate.

They’re control characters because this encoding was invented to provide all the functionality of all the various teletype machines out there, providing “one encoding to rule them all”, which should be able to work with any teletype, providing interoperability.

Teletype machines needed to have a way to signal to each other that this should be the end of the line, for example, and so you have a linefeed character. Today you might think of a linefeed as “just another character”, but the term “control character” isn’t just a pretty name – in it’s original intent, “linefeed” is not a character but an in-stream instruction for the receiving device, which means “move the physical roller which controls the vertical position of the physical paper in the actual real world one line down”. Presumably on some teletypes it also meant “…and return the physical IRL print head to the first column”, and on some it didn’t. In order to support all the features of all the teletype machines out there, a bunch of control characters were needed.

No, I have no idea what half of them do, either.

I do know about a couple that you may not have heard of. For instance, there’s the one that I call “EOF” – end of file, but which the ascii table lists as “End Of Transmission”, at position 4. Unix implements this as it’s “End Of File” character – this is what your terminal sends down the line when you press CTRL-D. It’s why you can press CTRL-D to log out of your terminal. It’s also why you can do

$ cat - > /tmp/foo (enter)
foo(enter)
bar(enter)
(ctrl-d)
$ cat /tmp/foo
foo
bar

to create a file which includes linefeeds from the unix prompt, using cat to read from stdin and then using ctrl-d to send the the end-of-file character to tell the system that you’re done inputting data.

A more commonly known one due to a decision by microsoft to be contrarian is the difference between a linefeed (“move 1 line down”) and a carriage return (“return the carriage (or cursor) back to column 1″). Technically microsoft’s preference of doing both a carriage return and linefeed is perhaps more historically accurate, since in almost all cases you would want to do both of these things when the enter/return key is pressed, whereas unix says that a linefeed implies a carriage return, and interprets carriage return as “*only* do a carriage return, not a linefeed”, meaning that on unix CR allows you to “echo over” the same line again, and that means you can draw bar charts in bash using echo -e “\r$barchart” in a loop.

I member a time when *nix used LF, Windows used CR + LF, and macs used CR just to be totally goddamn annoying. Apple adopted LF along with unix with the advent of Mac OS X, so that’s not a thing anymore unless you’re into retrocomputing.

You may have seen the good old ^H^H^H^H^H^H joke, where a person is deleting their code. This is because the backspace character/key at position 8 was traditionally mapped to CTRL-H, which could render on some terminals visibly as ^H rather than a backspace depending on a ton of hardware variations and compatibility settings on the terminal you were sitting at and the terminal you were talking to.

CTRL-L clears the screen on *nix because it’s mapped to the form feed character at position 12. Likewise CTRL-C is mapped to character 3 (end of text, i’ve always called it ‘interrupt’). I believe that the dreaded CTRL-S and CTRL-Q to freeze/unfreeze output on your terminal are mapped to control characters, too, but I couldn’t tell you which ones.

There’s also a fun one which doesn’t appear to be mapped on my modern linux machine – CTRL-G, to ring the terminal bell.

These control key sequences exist because when people started using different terminals to talk to unix systems, they quickly found that not all terminals were the same. E.g not all of them had a ‘backspace’ or a ‘clear screen’ key, but all of them had some kind of “control” or “modifier” key, so the control sequences were added for people who didn’t have the corresponding key. To this day, I have a ‘compatibility’ tab in my terminal which allows me to tell the terminal to send a CTRL-H key sequence for backspace, amongst other things.

A short aside:

As I’ve demonstrated above, one of the pitfalls that we find ourselves running into on modern unix systems is that by the time you get to a terminal emulator in your gpu-accelerated, composited GUI, you’re running many layers of abstraction and compatibility deep: Your terminal is emulating and backwards-compatible with VT100 dumb-terminal hardware from perhaps the 1970s, patched to be able to support unicode, which is itself a backwards-compatible extension on top of the backwards-compatible extension of a previous code that is ascii, going all the way back to bardot and the telegraph in the late 1800s. So, no, it’s not as straightforward as you’d expect to write code to say “move the cursor to position x,y” on a unix console.

This causes us a bunch of problems and causes us limitations on modern desktop unix systems perhaps more often than it helps the average user. If you read the unix-hater’s handbook, you’ll find an entire chapter on how /dev/tty and the terminal emulator is the worst thing in the entire universe. This is generally acknowledged as one of unix’s “foibles”.

So why hasn’t anyone done anything about all that legacy stuff?

Because one of the joys and beauties of unix is the deeply-ingrained principles of backwards compatibility and portability that came to embody the unix philosophy over the course of decades. Which means that I can still (relatively) easily connect my modern terminal emulator up to an antique teletype and have it be compatible to a pretty decent extent.

This is an important quality of unix. It’s important to keep these open, compatible standards around for the purpose of the preservation of information. If we had moved from ascii to an incompatible standard, we would have had to convert every single document ever written in ascii into that new standard, or potentially lose the information as the old and incompatible ascii standard became more and more rare and unknown.

And if you search youtube, you can find people hooking modern systems up to antique teletypes. For my money that makes it all worth it.

But finally, Let’s talk about tab.

Note that space is up at position 32, in column 2 with the printable characters. I’ve seen space categorised as a nonprintable character, but this is the wrong way of thinking about it. A better way is to think of space as a fully black glyph on an oldschool fixed-width text terminal (regardless of whether or not it was actually implemented this way). You want a space character to erase any pre-existing character at that position on the screen, for example. And you want that “move on to the next screen column with each keypress, so that the user can type left-to-right” functionality that you get from making it a fully-black glyph.

For example, in bash:

echo -e "12345 \r     67890"

doesn’t give you the output:

1234567890

it gives you:

     67890

- the spaces erase the previously-printed characters.

Space is a printable character.

Tab is a control character.

I was tempted to write “which means ‘print 4 spaces’ on my system”, but I thought I’d do another bash example/test/demonstration, and I surprised even myself. On my system, it’s not “print 4 spaces” at all:

$ echo -e "1234567890\r\tABCDEF"
1234ABCDEF

I had expected this to echo

    ABCDEF

But it turns out that the implementation of tab on my system is a bit more complicated than that. Instead it means “indent by one tab width”. If I did:

$ tabs -8
$ echo -e "1234567890\r\tABCDEF"

I’d get:

12345678ABCDEF

And if I do:

$echo -e "\tsomething"
	something

That’s not 4 spaces that it’s printed at the start of the line – try selecting that text – it’s a single tab character, and its width is whatever your tab width is set to (since it’s being displayed on your machine right now).

I think this demonstrates pretty clearly that space is printable and tab is control :)

When fixed-with, monochrome teletypes and terminals were the norm (and for a long time they were the best way for humans to talk to computers – they beat the shit out of punchcards), and the ascii standard was adopted for use on a screen – with generally more capability than a teletype (a screen can easily delete characters / clear itself, and can emulate an infinite roll of paper by scrolling lines), indentation came up. This caused an issue at the time because they didn’t have WYSIWYG word processors with an infinite number of center-aligned tabs that could do everything your typewriter could do. Instead, they had this atomic system – there was no physical way on these devices to have a ‘half-character-width’ tab, like you could on a typewriter. And not a lot of memory or processor power for implementing fancy rules around kiiiiinda-trivial stuff like tabs. So the compromise that was reached was making a tab equal to a certain number of spaces.

But how many spaces? Some said 4, I think some said 8, and some said 2. This is what the ‘tab width’ setting of your text editor means. I’m sure others did more complex things with tab, like “indent to the same column as the next word from the line above”.

I’m not sure where the convention of “a tab equals 4 spaces” came from, but that’s certainly the one that became dominant at some point. Maybe it’s standardised somewhere, maybe it’s just a popular convention.

The point is, the way that tabs was handled used to differ at one point between different terminal hardware and/or settings. This is why tab settings are so seemingly-complicated in plaintext editors today – Similarly to why ASCII has so many control characters, terminal emulators wanted to be able to emulate multiple types of terminal, so the tab settings had to be a superset of all of them.

The practical upshot of all this means that by correctly using your IDE’s “Tab width” setting, if you use tabs for indentation, you don’t need to have this argument about whether a tab should be 2 or 4 or 8 or 32 spaces: You simply set the tab width to your preference and tell your IDE to use tabs for indentation, and you’re set, and can see it indented however you like, and so can everybody else. We can all just use tabs correctly, and live in peace and tolerate each other’s preferences for indenting.

(The correct IDE settings are: Tab width: whatever you prefer; Use tabs for indentation, never spaces; aggressively and automatically convert groups of spaces *at the start of the line* into tabs. Auto-indent. If your editor can’t do these things, you should use a better one. Scite and Geany are good).

And there are valid preferences, too – I personally use 4 spaces indents on a desktop or laptop machine where characters are small and screen real estate is cheap, but if you’re coding on a small form-factor device with a small screen that can’t display long lines easily and large enough to be readable (like my openpandora), an indent of 2 characters is much more workable.

Another still valid though less-relevant-today reason to have a preference about tab width is something i only touched on very briefly earlier – some of these fixed-width displays were 40 columns, and some were 80 columns. The most common 40 column displays you would see were on the 8-bit microcomputers of the 80s, which tended to be built to hook up to TVs via an RF modulator, typically leading to insufficient resolution to do 80 columns and be readable. On a 40 column device there’s a good argument for a smaller indent for the same reason as I have on my openpandora – screen real estate.

So to start summing this all up and getting back to my original point, and although I’ve spent a million words describing the “why it’s more technically and semantically correct”, my #1 argument for tabs is not even based on any principle of it being more technically or semantically correct, or respecting the past, or anything like that.

I argue for tabs over spaces for indentation based on features: Done correctly, it removes the whole “How wide should an indent be?” question and allows users to decide based on their preference while still working together and having consistent code.

But I do also argue for it based on a nerdy “technical correctness” and “compliance with well-reasoned specifications” principles, too: In python, tab is even more explicitly semantically correct – in python we use indentation to signal a block of code to the interpreter. That’s the job of a control character, not of a printable character. That’s exactly what control characters are designed for. Those smart guys back in the 1960s or 1910s or whenever it was knew what they were doing when they put space in there with all the other printable characters.

However, note that when I say that you should be using tabs for indentation, I do not mean they should also be used for formatting – that does cause issues, as many advocates of space have pointed out in the past. I think maybe this is the most common pitfall is that people run into which makes them prefer spaces. But understanding these tab settings is not hard, and there’s a benefit for all users, and it’s the correct option, and also it saves you some space, because one tab character is one quarter the size of 4 space characters!*

(* this old argument for tabs is actually not really true anymore a lot of the time: if you’re transferring this as plaintext over http, you’re probably using a modern web browser which supports http2 and/or gzip compression, and it’s quite likely you’re talking to a server that also supports it, so there’s a very good chance that you’re getting those 4 space characters gzipped, even if you’re not minifying your javascript, and in that case those 4 tabs will take up perhaps 10 or 11 bits of data vs the 8 bits a tab would use )

So, for example:

#!/usr/bin/env python3

def something():
	# this line is indented. You should use a single tab character to indent it.
	#    but if I want to indent this line inside the comment, this is formatting, 
	#    and I shouldn't use tab for that.
	#
	#<-- tab
	#    <-- spaces      
	#
	# so, for example, to make an ascii-art table outlining the characters on this line:
	#    ----
	#
	# it would be:
	#  pos | character
	# -----------------
	#   1  | tab
	#   2  | hash
	#   3  | space
	#   4  | space
	#   5  | space
	#   6  | space
	#   7  | hyphen
	#   8  | hyphen
	#   9  | hyphen
	#   10 | hyphen        # note consistent column widths here, 10 is longer than 9, 
	#                      #   don't use tabs here between the hash and pipe characters

	run_code()

In the code world I've found that this formatting rule boils down to a pretty simple generalisation: left of the comment signifier (the hash character in python), that's indentation, right of it is formatting.

(yes, there are always weird edge cases, like heredocs, where formatting and indentation simply cannot be done well and unambiguously, but I've found this system to work pretty well. In these cases you should do what seems best and cleanest)

And now hopefully you know why tabs are correct and spaces are wrong. Please feel free to disagree and argue that the PEP says so, but just know advance that if you do that you will be wrong.

More seriously, I would welcome discussion over some of the edge cases and pitfalls that people can run into with regard to this stuff. I find that a lot of the issues that people complain about with tabs also occur with spaces. It'd be cool to put together an exhaustive resource on the subject to document what is totally the empirically correct way to do it.

If you made it through this may thousand rambling words over something that many would consider trivial, thanks for reading :)

OMG LOOKIT WONT SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

Here’s a news story I saw today:

…And here’s a totally unrelated Open Letter To Facetube From US, UK, and Australian Leaders Regarding Use of End-To-End Encryption

Some choice excerpts from the letter:

“We therefore call on Facebook and other companies to take the following steps:
• Enable law enforcement to obtain lawful access to content in a readable and usable format”

“We are committed to working with you to focus on reasonable proposals that will allow Facebook and our governments to protect your users and the public, while protecting their privacy. Our technical experts are confident that we can do so while defending cyber security and supporting technological innovation.

(emphasis mine)

So…. Obviously… we should backdoor all military encryption, right? After all, this is only one pedo that has been found in the ranks of the RAAF. Who knows how many there could be out there? And in other arms of the “defense” forces? After all, we have documented examples of war criminals and murderers who remain unprosecuted.

(Speaking of war criminals, BTW, mad props to my main main, John Howard, for the recent 20 year anniversary of his totally successful eradication of the taliban).

We know for a fact that these systems are being used to commit crimes.

Do the police even have easy access to these encrypted military communication channels? Perhaps there’s a ring of pedos hiding in the very defence forces we so “love” and “admire”! Oh noes!

Worse, if we’re backdooring civilian communications, as you’re so keen do to, and the only properly secure channels left are military, then wouldn’t it be logical for a pedo to simply enlist in the military, where he can groom children all over the world totally securely? Perhaps most of the members of most of our armed forces are out there exploiting children!!! The only way we can know for sure is if we’re able to monitor their communications.

Perhaps if the police had backdoor access to military communications, they could have prevented the unfortunate actions of those soldiers in afghanistan murdering unarmed civillians and routinely carrying throwdown weapons to hide their war crimes. You know, those actions of a few bad apples who just happen to remain unprosecuted and totally definitely aren’t just the stupid ones who got caught doing it on film.

So, I mean, Obviously the best solution is obvious, right? We should backdoor all military encryption, right?

If we backdoored military encryption, we could totally protect the children from pedos!

Right?

I mean, you’re really interested in protecting the children, right? It’s not just about surveillance, right?

You totally have technicamal expamerts who assert that backdoors can be done safely, so there’s no problem, right?

You’re not full of shit, right?

So it’s pretty damn clear to me: Not only should Australia be backdooring all of it’s military encryption as a matter or urgency, we should be urging our allies to do the same. After all, the muurican military is much much bigger than ours – statistically there’s going to be even more pedos in the muuurican army! We need to catch them and stop these heinous acts of child abuse! (oh, and also, you know, maybe a reduction in the the whole “totally definitely not systemic war crimes” thing, as an added bonus)

Won’t somebody think of the children! And backdoor all military encryption!

This site requires IE6

Welcome to the new and wonderful world of the “modern” web, where you can be running a browser released 2 months ago and it’s considered OK to not support it because it’s not one of the big three.

I particularly adore the fearmongering security theatre used as an excuse for their not bothering with progressive enhancement and compatibility.

Now, I suppose to be fair I should concede that although I do label it as a “blatant lie”, it is possible that I might be wrong and this might not actually be a lie: It could just be that they’re simply incompetent at web development.

No Free Napkins

Once upon a time, I was on my way to work in the morning. I was catching the tram to the CBD.

I hadn’t felt awesome before I left home, but as I sat on the tram i started feeling worse and worse. In particular, my nose started running. And I didn’t have any tissues with me. No good.

At a certain point, in the CBD but still not quite at work, I had to do something because my runny nose was becoming unmanageable. So, spotting a 7-11, I jumped off the tram. In a hurry.

With no time to fuck around, I ran into the 7-11 and headed for the pies and sausage rolls, looking for napkins. There weren’t any. Instead, there was a sign saying that napkins were available at the counter. So I ran to the counter.

“I need some napkins please”, I said.

The cashier handed me one tiny napkin. Nowhere near enough for the massive torrent of mucus I’d been holding back for about 15 minutes by that point.

“I need more than that, I have to blow my nose”, I managed to get out without leaking anything anywhere.

With an expression conveying very clearly exactly how few fucks he gave, the cashier refused.

“No, only one. You can buy tissues”, he said.

“I don’t have time for that, give me more napkins”, I said.

“No”, came the reply, continuing to be accompanied by the aforementioned expression.

So I blew my nose on the napkin he had given me.

Met with roughly a megalitre of mucous at high pressure, the flimsy and insubstantial napkin disintegrated, sending pieces of wet napkin and most of the megalitre of snot all over the cashier’s counter and all over the chewing gum and chocolate bars in front of it. This procedure left me holding half of an inadequate-for-blowing-ones-nose napkin which was dangling and dripping many ropes of horrible semi-liquid stuff. Once the procedure was complete, every subtle movement of my hand caused an exponential jiggling in the awful thing I was holding, and that jiggling then caused a hundred fresh droplets to rain down onto the counter in a hundred interesting new trajectories.

As I turned and left the store, taking care to put what hadn’t dripped onto the counter, products, and floor into the bin, I said:

“Next time, don’t be a cunt”

983 days uptime

bye bye hactar. You were a good server. It’s a pity we didn’t quite make it to 1000 days.

(the machine was decommissioned today by people who aren’t me. Interestingly, this action immediately caused a website outage. I’ll refrain from any more blatant “I told you so”‘s).

Nice work, youtube!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this is what happens when you have people who don’t understand the technology work on one layer of abstraction, using inefficient frameworks to build things that could be built better with just a little skill and hard work, with no incentive or curiosity to care about any of the thousand other layers of abstraction:

youtube.com is literally more than 50% invalid HTML.

Nice work!

I’m guessing their unit tests don’t include running the output through a HTML validator.

There’s an old saying…

They fucking renewed Alex Kurtzman’s contract?!?

There’s an old saying that I think is apropos here: “Never Attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity”

I suppose technically I had jumped the gun on trek: I saw the malice and interpreted and called it out as such. But I suppose, technically speaking, until today, you could have made the claim that it was just stupidity, and that CBS had accidentally hired Alex Kurtzman as a TV showrunner rather than as filler for a septic tank system.

But today proves that it wasn’t stupidity at all, it was definitely malice. CBS’s goal is to kill off Star Trek.

But there’s still one part of it that I still don’t understand: Why renew Kurtzman’s contract? He’s already killed it off pretty effectively already – does he really need another 5 years?

I suppose it has been around for a long time and it’s got a habit of being revived and renewed. So if you hate Star Trek and you want to kill it off and make damn sure it stays dead, you might extend Kurtzman’s contract. That would make sense I guess.

While I’m here, I should post the poster that I made a while ago for RedLetterMedia’s excellent 5-hour series of reviews of picard:

Can a sequence of bytes be offensive?

Do you find this image offensive?

(This is an enlarged version, Here’s the original BMP).

OK. So I think we can all agree that’s not a pretty picture, but it’s not offensive.

What if I do a hexdump of the file:

0000000 4d42 3a1a 0000 0000 0000 0036 0000 0028
0000010 0000 004b 0000 0041 0000 0001 0018 0000
0000020 0000 39e4 0000 0b13 0000 0b13 0000 0000
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00001e0 5245 5420 5345 4954 4c43 2045 5754 5441
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0000280 462d 4355 204b 4f43 4b43 5553 4b43 4445
(Much, much more…)
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00039e0 5720 4545 4557 2045 0000 0000          
00039eb

I’m still not having any problem.

OK, one final step. Let’s open it in a text editor:

Hmmm. This time I think opinions might vary.

To me the idea of an “offensive word” doesn’t really make any sense. A word is just a sequence of letters. I’m a computer guy, so to me it’s just a sequence of bytes. But I don’t think any word can be said to be offensive any more than we could claim that the letters in that word are also offensive. And I don’t think we should ban the letter “f”.

It’s the intention and meaning that we derive from the word that matters – the way we read it, not the word itself. The first image is innocuous because you are looking at that stream of bytes as a bitmap image. In the last one, you’re parsing it as english, and it causes a very different reaction. But even then, there’s no hate in a list of “bad words” that I pulled off the internet. I’d argue that the final image is precisely as offensive as the first two because it’s just a list that I pulled off the net. Nobody yelled this at anybody. It wasn’t used for a hateful purpose. Therefore it’s innocuous.

The point is that we should look for the message people are trying to convey when they use a word before we have an emotional reaction to the word itself. I’ll grant that certain words do cause real problems for some people, and that certain words have been used historically in very hateful ways, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that every possible use of that word is negative. There are indeed certain words that might currently be almost entirely negative, but that won’t necessarily always be the case, and it might not be the case all over the world now, and it certainly doesn’t apply to every word that has been used, for example, as a slur.

Then there’s the whole “freedom of expression should trump the right to not be upset” argument, wherein I will argue that there is exactly one thing that the muricans did actually – wait for it, I’m gonna say it – The Americans did get freedom of speech right. Or at least, pretty close. But that’s a whole other wall of text.

I just thought this was an interesting demonstration of how your perception of data can change, depending on how you look at it :)

The State of Pulseaudio in 2021

Every now and then I like to revisit an old topic.

So, let’s revisit pulseaudio and my hatred for it, shall we?

Now, you’re not an old greybeard like me, so you’re probably saying to yourself right now “OMG still with pulseaudio?!? That attitude is sooooo 2008!”

Well, for all the people over the years who have repeated the line of pure bullshit propaganda that “pulseaudio is much better these days and almost sorta kinda works most of the time, if you squint”, I’d like to present my first, reflexive solution to the fact that today I had no audio in zoom on a laptop with a current version of pulseaudio. A solution which, I might add, solved my problem instantly:

$ sudo bash -c "while true; do pkill -9 pulseaudio; done" &

Sure, it might not be efficient or pretty, but it worked. And it serves as a perfect metaphor for the state of Linux audio for this past decade and change, which can be summed up as “If you have an audio problem on Linux, the fault lies with pulseaudio”.

There have been multiple occasions where I’ve been trying to figure out some weird audio behaviour, only to realise “Oh OF COURSE! How silly of me! this machine has pulseaudio installed!”, and disable pulseaudio, and the problem goes away.

I’d file bugs for all this stuff, but I’m sure the fault lies with gnome (which I don’t use), or KDE (which I don’t use), or nginx, or my distro, or perhaps Microsoft Office. I’m sure these things are not actually problems with pulseaudio, because Lennart’s software never has any bugs.

I for one welcome the next decade’s worth of “if there’s a weird issue on Linux, The problem lies with systemd”, and being told in my bug reports that the problem is in the default configuration that comes with Mac OS X Server.

Now it’s off to go read the documentation (yet again) on how to disable this godawful dreck to stop it from automatically starting itself. Unfortunately we’re not in the days where just removing it is a simple option anymore (thanks for the totally unnecessary hard dependency, mozilla!)

Buying “For All Mankind”

I’ve been watching this show called For All Mankind. It’s glorious. One day there will almost certainly be a blog post here gushing about it. It has the potential to be my favourite TV show ever. I’ve told pretty much everyone I know about it.

But it’s an Apple TV show, so I can’t ethically recommend any legitimate means of watching it.

Today, I decided to do a thing that I do every now and then: make a good-faith effort to find a way to reward creators of content like this in an ethical way.

In other words, I want to buy For All Mankind on DVD or bluray.

So I decided to hit up apple for a chat to ask them when it’s coming out in a format where it can actually be purchased (as opposed to rented, which is what you get when you “buy” it from Apple TV), and unencumbered by DRM.

That went about as well as you’d expect.

The TL;DR version is that Apple won’t even discuss the possibility of you buying one of their shows on DVD without you providing your personal information. Much less actually release a show on a medium where you can actually buy it. Not only that, but they insist on using misleading terms like “buy”, and “purchase the content legitimately” even when called out on it. I guess they do deserve some minimal number of points for consistency.

So, if you want to watch For All Mankind, the most ethical way I can recommend to watch it is by using The Pirate Bay. You get very high-quality web-download rips there regularly every week.

And I really do recommend watching it. It’s great.

Dear Ronald D Moore: Your show is really great. I’d love to give you and your production company some money to support it’s ongoing creation, but Apple refused to help me with that. If you want to reach out to me and let me know how I can do that, Please do. I’d happily pay premium prices for a box set, I’ll be all like “shut up and take my money”. Thanks.

Here’s the chat log in full:

(well, almost full. This is the last screengrab I took. It was very close to the end of the chat. After this it was pretty much just “well, thanks for nothing I guess? Bye.”)


image of a long, text-based chat with apple tech support. Sorry, vision-impaired people!

Top notch reporting

Full Article archived here

Nice one, ABC. That’s some top-notch journalism right there.

Firstly, I’m struck by the neutral tone of this article reporting on this…uh… “extra-legal”… murder. And I find myself wondering what the tone would be like if it was a nuclear scientist in a western country who had been killed. I can’t help but agree with the phrase “shameful double standards”. This was an act of terrorism, pure and simple.

Secondly: What, you couldn’t afford to have an actual interpreter translate the tweet?

tweet translation straight from google translate, with the nonsense translation obscured by an ellipsis

Nah, rather than wait an hour or two and spend maybe a couple of hundred bucks on having an actual interpreter give an actual translation of what was actually said, we’ll just run the tweet through google translate! And hey, if google translate returns something clearly nonsensical, we’ll just edit that part out!

Nice one, ABC. I can see why you’re in favour of making google and facetube pay for the media they link to. With reporting of this high caliber it’s clearly worth it.

My thoughts on the Star Trek: Lower Decks Trailer

So the trailer for Star Trek: Lower Decks is finally here. I thought I’d share my thoughts on it:

Why would I bother watching this trailer? It’s got “Star Trek” in the title, and it’s being made by CBS in 2020. That’s all I need to know. All I would achieve by watching it is angering myself and wasting 90 seconds (or however long it is, I haven’t even looked) of my life.

Plus, they haven’t bothered getting back to me with billing information after I contacted them when they announced Strange New Worlds:
I Contacted them a few months ago. They never replied

So I’m just going to assume that they don’t want me to watch it, anyway. They clearly didn’t want me to watch Discovery or Picard.

I’m not even going to bother talking about why I’m not going to watch the trailer for Strange New Worlds when that comes out. If the trailer and the show comes out and I haven’t mentioned it at all, you can just assume CBS never got back to me with that billing information.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

RIP Star Trek
1966 – 2005

Murderers

Just in case anybody is wondering why I refer to every member of all armed forces as a murderer, Here’s why. It’s because of all the murdering they do.

I’ve heard theories about how on the whole the “defense” (lol, there’s a misnomer) force does good. Apparently they build schools and hospitals and stuff in parts of the world where bad things have happened. And apparently they do this much cheaper than, say, a builder could do it.

OK, so, firstly, for 25 billion dollars per year, I could build you a whole lotta schools and hospitals. I’m betting more than the military could, because I wouldn’t be spending that money on tools optimised for murder: The builders I sent out to build schools wouldn’t have access to attack helicopters, so they wouldn’t be able to murder anybody using mounted machine guns in attack helicopters. They wouldn’t have assault rifles, so their ability to murder people with assault rifles would be greatly diminished. You’re less likely to “accidentally” napalm a kindergarten if you’re not given any napalm as part of your “let’s go build a hospital” loadout. So not only would I save a bunch of money by not buying attack helicopters, assault rifles, and napalm, but I expect it would also have an effect on the number of murders done. Also, I’m no builder, but I suspect that a trowel is probably going to be a more effective tool for bricklaying than an assault rifle, in addition to being much much cheaper.

And, secondly, let’s say that I’m totally wrong and that attack helicopters are absolutely the best tool for the job of raising a building (which would make them super versatile, because they’re also pretty good for razing buildings) and that they’re cheaper than builders. Even if you’re building these schools and hospitals at one tenth the cost that a builder could, I’ll pay the extra to not have the whole “murder” and “warcrimes” things being done with my tax dollars, thanks.

Who wants to make a bet with me? I’ll bet you that nobody spends life in prison as a result of this.

Disband all armed forces immediately. The only things that they do better than anybody else are murder and warcrimes.

End Of An Era

In the next day or so, the seti@home project goes into “hibernation”.

I’ve been contributing my spare CPU time to this project for over 20 years. More than half my life. A whole bunch of posts on this blog are about seti@home milestones.

I’m pretty avid about it, because I think that SETI is probably the single most important bit of science we can be doing. That’s a whole discussion, perhaps for another day.

I keep track of the statistics on an irregular basis. I contribute as much as possible, including donating CPU time of servers and workstations I control.

I’m the number 49 contributor in the country. I’m glad that I managed to crack the top 50 (this happened fairly recently) before the project shut down.

I also managed to crack the 99.9th percentile – I’ve accumulated more credit than 99.90051% of all SETI@Home Users. This is also a fairly recent development. I’m also glad that I managed to crack three-nines before the project shut down.

I’m ranked 1,797 out of 1,806,205 in the world.

I’ve contributed 28.91 quintillion floating-point operations:

Suffice to say that it’s something that I’m passionate about. My Drake Equation simulator is an example of that.

I’m… displeased… by this development.

The announcement that the project is going into “hibernation” came less than a month ago. Here’s the stated reasons:


We’re doing this for two reasons:

1) Scientifically, we’re at the point of diminishing returns; basically, we’ve analyzed all the data we need for now.

2) It’s a lot of work for us to manage the distributed processing of data. We need to focus on completing the back-end analysis of the results we already have, and writing this up in a scientific journal paper.

With regard to point one: My drake equation simulator, and common sense, tells me one thing about SETI: it’s a long-haul game. Given the size of the galaxy and the delays in communication between stars, any communication with extraterrestrial intelligence is going to be a slow process. Another important factor is that given the size of the galaxy, if an alien civilization starts broadcasting today, the likelihood is that it’s going to be thousands of years – perhaps even a hundred thousand – before we receive that transmission. And that’s only taking civilisations in our galaxy into account. The SETI project might run for hundreds of years and not find anything. And it should. A couple of decades for a project like this is an infinitesimal blip compared with the timespans we’re talking about with regard to extraterrestrial intelligence. If you’re going to make the claim that “we’ve analyzed all the data we need for now”, then that can only mean one of two possibilities: 1: You’re not actually doing SETI, or 2: you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. There is new data coming in every second of every day. That first signal we detect could be tomorrow. Or it could be a thousand years from now. If we stop looking it’ll be never.

Some fuckwitspeople argue that running a project like SETI is expensiveblah blah blah. They seem to think that because we haven’t found anything in a few decades (well, nothing definite – we have found a couple of interesting and unexplained signals, the Wow! Signal being the most famous) that we should save our money and give up. This is ludicrously short-sighted thinking. The SETI project needs to be a LONG-term project. In the hundreds or thousands of years. It’ll take a hundred thousand years of SETI before we can say that we’re (probably) the only intelligence in the galaxy, and even then we could get a signal the next day. And no result is a result where SETI is concerned – not getting signals gives us some indication of the rarity of intelligence (or, at least, EM radio tech) in the galaxy.

As for point two, this basically boils down to “we’ve decided we can’t be bothered”. If it’s a lot of work then that means you haven’t automated it properly. Writing this up as a paper? What I’m hearing is “it’s more important that I get published than answering one of the most important and fundamental questions out there”. I’ll be expecting to see my name attributed on the paper.

There are nearly 2 million seti@home users. Lots of us are computer nerds. I’m sure you could have found some volunteers to do all that hard work you can’t be bothered with any more. I’d be happy to do as much as I can. But you didn’t ask, instead you just shut down a project that I’ve been invested in for most of my lifetime.

Obviously, seti@home isn’t all of SETI, obviously there will be a bunch of other SETI being done. The Breakthrough listen project is doing some great stuff. But this is a blow to science. Seti@home was a pioneer of distributed computing. And I think that the way it’s being shut down is a huge disservice to science and to all the people who have volunteered our processor time and electricity over the decades. I’m not impressed.

My machines, on the other hand, will be relieved. Their processors will be running much cooler from now on. I’ll go through processor fans much less quickly. And my wallet will probably appreciate the reduction in electricity consumption: I’ll be interested to see the difference in my power bill. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s noticeable.

Before The Dawn

“It’s always darkest before the dawn”
– Morons

It isn’t. Before dawn, there’s a period called “pre-dawn” where there’s a glow on the horizon from the approaching sun. This is the ~hour-long period between astronomical sunrise and actual sunrise. And it’s fairly bright. That’s why astronomers make a distinction between astronomical sunrise/sunset and actual sunrise/sunset – because the light from the sun in this period is enough to interfere with astronomical observations.

So, to summarise, just before the dawn there’s a period of dim light which is actually as bright as the night gets before actual daytime (barring things like supernovae). The darkest part is around midnight when the sun is on the opposite side of the planet. It’s not always darkest before the dawn, it’s darkest before the period of light before dawn. And in fact that’s not even “darkest”, because you have things like stars and the moon lighting things up. It’s actually darkest in caves, where there is no dawn.

But who lets facts get in the way of a bland metaphor?