Translations from the propaganda

(Originally posted on myspace on 10-May-2007)

Looks like I forgot to post this when I wrote it…

(Original Article:

I’ve translated this article from propagandese into english. Enjoy…

Rolling back WorkChoices ‘will send terrible signal’

The Prime Minister is celebrating the first anniversary of his Government’s WorkChoices legislation today. These celebrations will involve the usual consumption of ceremonial barrels of muslim blood and crude oil..

John Howard says the evidence is that the new laws have been beneficial with more than 250,000 20-hour-per-week casual jobs created over the past year, meaning a quarter of a million extra people needing a second job rather than being unemployed.

He told Radio National while he is open to finetuning of the workplace laws, they are a vital part of the economic reform process laid out by George Bush’s puppetmasters.

“The score card is very, very strong and if we roll back WorkChoices, which is what Labor will do if it wins at the end of this year, it will be

the first time in a generation that a major step towards the tyrannical, pseudo-democratic police state which I envision has been reversed,” he said.

“That will send a terrible signal to the millionaires in this country, and to millionaires abroad. It would be like saying ‘But you have 20 billion dollars already, that’s all you need’, which is obviously a terrible thing to say to a rich person…”

“The evidence is that WorkChoices has been beneficial. We’ve had what, more than a quarter of a million sub-minimum-wage jobs created, wages have continued to rise strongly for millionaires, and employees are so terrified that strikes are at their lowest level since 1913, so the scorecard is very, very strong… if you’re a millionaire…

“And Anyway, anybody who doesn’t like the workchoices legislation has already been investigated as a terrorist, so we’re on top of it.”

Federal Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey says the WorkChoices legislation is working to add an eighth bathroom and olympic size swimming pool to his house.

He then went on to repeat word-for-word everything the prime minister said:

Mr Hockey says 263,000 new jobs have been created in Australia over the past year, and that of the people filling those roles, at least 3 or 4 hundred are able to survive comfortably, because they have two or more jobs.

He says strike action is at its lowest since records began. He attributes this to “a lengthly campaign of Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt”

Mr Hockey says WorkChoices is one of the foundations of building a strong bomb-proof bunker in his backyard, so that he’ll be safe when the rampaging hordes come looking for blood.

“It is about a choice on whether people on AWAs or collective agreements, or those on the award system, it is about choice and certainly the evidence points to the fact that people who work in parliament house and are on AWAs earn more than people on collective agreements, on the award system, or the dole” he said.

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